The Lost Gem of the Ingénue

"Pain changes people, it can either build you or destroy you"

The Lost Gem of the Ingenue

I adore her so much. Her dazzling eyes that reflect a joyous feast, her rose-colored lips that cheerfully converse with everyone, her shiny hair that reveals her mesmerizing charisma, and a perfect smile that windows her enchanted life. I adore her because of her strong spirit and her power to walk to the labyrinth of happiness. That woman who can easily be noticed in the crowd and can be adored even by the same gender and who can blow air of positive vibes. That woman... That I adore... before. Then the light of her life turns into the red – it stopped.  Her enchanted life had ceased and the joy was only on the brink. She’s now standing in the temple of those melancholic thoughts. She was lost. She was no longer in the crowd but in the corner of the wall and no one adores her anymore. If only those steps of the day didn't come; that scenario that crashed her, that moment that breaks her life, that lunging sadness that transformed the woman I adored. I thought there’s nothing that can break her crown until someone flung her down. It happened that evening with promises of eternal love, her moans were occupying the four corners of the darkroom, that palm to palm moment that allows her to dream of that final walk and the final word she’d been rehearsing for the rest of her life. But after that romantic evening, nothing was left and no words were heard. She was alone and no vestige of her baronet was left, but only the ecstasy and agony and the sleepless nights. He took not only the plash of joy nor her vulnerable heart but also the precious gem she’d been keeping all along. The gem that cast her pride. The gem that she promised to devote to the man that will share a final walk with her. That gem is not comparable to any emerald and rubies. But she lost it and those memories buried her in a constant state of anxiety. Her eyes were no longer a reflection of joy and their corners were filled by the mist of cafard. Her lips were never red anymore but plain that makes her pale. Her hair was scattered that it covers her lovely face and the perfect smile disappeared. She was changed in just a blink of that deceiving night and her magnificent life became a battlefield. If only she could fight, but she’s powerless to efface that sickening instant. If only she could return that most precious thing of being a vestal. She was swallowing much morphine to ease the twinge inside her. If only I could grab her hands and show her the paradise that she used to live in before. If only I could show her the bridge of life where she can see the womenfolk laughing even without their gems, those women with the same scar at the corner of their hearts, those who unravel their lives. If only I could show her the man who can wholly accept her past and share his final “yes” with her. But I can’t help her. I can’t.  Because I can’t be the woman I was before.