Thoughts of vehemence ...

I was texting him all day but I didn't receive a single reply, I was even calling his phone but it was unattended. I don’t know if he’s just busy or sleeping or if he just doesn't want to talk to me. I just wanted to know what the problem is and tell him that I missed him so much and of course to greet him a happy 13thmonthsarry but it seems like he forgot this special day. It was a rainy afternoon and I felt really bored so I went to the nearest tea house to whine up and since he was not responding to my texts I went there all alone. While I was busy dialing his number a vague figure caught my attention. It was a man holding the hand of a girl seated beside him; they are very sweet while exchanging smiles with each other. A very sweet couple. I don’t know who the girl is but I know the man, he was my boyfriend, my honeybunch, my love, my life. I felt like a rock crushed into pieces and the corner of my eyes was filled by the mist of pain so I decided to just go home and leave them without any words. I don’t want to hear his explanations, everything is clear and I know that before my eyes had witnessed those lies, my heart is already aware of what is happening. The end of our story is imminent. I’m willing to let him go anytime. I was lying in a bed of cafard when I received a message from him saying that we should end our relationship because his parents don’t like me. A big lie! I want to tell him what my eyes had seen before but I was speechless and I don’t want any farewell thoughts so I just replied okay and turn off my phone. All our precious memories vanished in an air of grief. The darkness was lamenting with my sadness and the night was pouring so much rain as if my heart were crying all the pain. Our romantic relationship was a big mistake and the prince who promised to be my king was fake. All the plans for our future were now a product of my lonely dreams. My heart was not only broken but shattered into pieces and I don’t know how to fix this or how to heal the scars. I thought those pieces will be scattered forever in the past. Four months later, I decided to start with bliss because there’s no use in stocking myself in the corner of grief and sadness. The moment that I thought would end my happy life became my strength, it leaves a lesson. I became a strong woman and I focused on other things such as writing poems and reading novels. It opened my eyes that I have so many friends who will never leave me no matter what happened. I realized the real definition of trust and I also realized that true love cannot be found in other’s company, love is in our heart and we should love ourselves first to share it with others. Now, I’m glad we’re friends; I forgive him because I want to continue the flow of my life, the scars were healed and the tears were replaced by laughter. I am very thankful because he taught me so many things about life, those experiences I shared with him and he made me realized one thing I never thought I am capable of doing, and that is to continue my life without him.

Milestone

The sweetest part of my story

is when I, a young girl, turns into a lady;

No more ponytails but a crown

jeans and shirt turns into a gown

Every chuckle and meaningful laughs

reminds me of some kiddie stuff

forget not of days with playful bliss

and all my childhood memories

During my pre-school days

All nails painted with yellow

sneakers changed into stiletto

tiny ears with happy bunnies

shines now with fancy rubies

Symbolic gifts given by peers

special meanings shared with tears

young men waiting to dance

and give a rose if they had a chance

Dance for my 18 roses

Time had passed for nursing as a baby

'cause here's a world for maturity

to initiate morality

and live my life meaningfully.