Thoughts of vehemence ...

I was texting him all day but I didn't receive a single reply, I was even calling his phone but it was unattended. I don’t know if he’s just busy or sleeping or if he just doesn't want to talk to me. I just wanted to know what the problem is and tell him that I missed him so much and of course to greet him a happy 13thmonthsarry but it seems like he forgot this special day. It was a rainy afternoon and I felt really bored so I went to the nearest tea house to whine up and since he was not responding to my texts I went there all alone. While I was busy dialing his number a vague figure caught my attention. It was a man holding the hand of a girl seated beside him; they are very sweet while exchanging smiles with each other. A very sweet couple. I don’t know who the girl is but I know the man, he was my boyfriend, my honeybunch, my love, my life. I felt like a rock crushed into pieces and the corner of my eyes was filled by the mist of pain so I decided to just go home and leave them without any words. I don’t want to hear his explanations, everything is clear and I know that before my eyes had witnessed those lies, my heart is already aware of what is happening. The end of our story is imminent. I’m willing to let him go anytime. I was lying in a bed of cafard when I received a message from him saying that we should end our relationship because his parents don’t like me. A big lie! I want to tell him what my eyes had seen before but I was speechless and I don’t want any farewell thoughts so I just replied okay and turn off my phone. All our precious memories vanished in an air of grief. The darkness was lamenting with my sadness and the night was pouring so much rain as if my heart were crying all the pain. Our romantic relationship was a big mistake and the prince who promised to be my king was fake. All the plans for our future were now a product of my lonely dreams. My heart was not only broken but shattered into pieces and I don’t know how to fix this or how to heal the scars. I thought those pieces will be scattered forever in the past. Four months later, I decided to start with bliss because there’s no use in stocking myself in the corner of grief and sadness. The moment that I thought would end my happy life became my strength, it leaves a lesson. I became a strong woman and I focused on other things such as writing poems and reading novels. It opened my eyes that I have so many friends who will never leave me no matter what happened. I realized the real definition of trust and I also realized that true love cannot be found in other’s company, love is in our heart and we should love ourselves first to share it with others. Now, I’m glad we’re friends; I forgive him because I want to continue the flow of my life, the scars were healed and the tears were replaced by laughter. I am very thankful because he taught me so many things about life, those experiences I shared with him and he made me realized one thing I never thought I am capable of doing, and that is to continue my life without him.

A story once played

Once in a stirring summer day

He met the ardent damsel he wanted to marry

He asked her to be his girl

She uttered a mellow “yes”; then their story started to play

Once in the side of a creek

They shared sweet thoughts with each other

He hugs her with strange ecstasy

And gave her a sweet kiss on her cheeks

Once in a garden with some tulips

He asked her to marry him

She say “I do” and wear the ring

Then shared each other a kiss on their lips

Once in a dark room with no touch of bliss

They decided to do it now

Though they have not yet share a vow

And they did something more than kiss

Once in a scrap room without a floor

She got pregnant and lived with him

Her beauty can no longer be seen

And he never kisses her anymore

Once in his matted unplanned life

He started to beat her when he’s drunk

There’s no more sweetness in his heart

But a regret of having her as his wife

Once in a place that he can’t dub as home

He keeps battering the lady she adored before

Until she lies bloody on the floor

And say no words and just leave her alone

Once in a parish of St. Ives

He realized how much he love his wife

The lady he met during the summer day

And he asked Him ways in fixing their lives

Once in a scrap room where he decided to start their lives

The vague figure lies lifeless on the floor

With the blood flowing between her legs

And he started to cry cause the life was revoked from his child and wife

Once in a jail where he’s going to pay his debt

The cacophony of mem’ries was playing

 The history of slamming was fresh

And their love story had ceased to natural death

Once in a wretched summer day

He was all alone with the rancor of his deeds

His heart was full of pain and regrets

Cause their story can no longer play.

The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho

     “How do we find the courage to always be true to ourselves even if we are unsure of who we are?”

    
    “We all want to get closer to God, but what if life is always taking you further away from Him?”

The Witch of Portobello by Paulo Coelho

       Sherine Khalil is a woman abandoned by her mother because her father was a foreigner. He was born in Transylvania and adopted by a Lebanese couple. The story starts with her death and is represented in a biography in narrative form.  The story was told by the people who knew her well.  When she was a child her uncle renames herself into Athena to betray her origins. So she preferred to be called Athena than Sherine. That time, she always told her mother that she keeps on seeing angels, saints and a woman dressed in white like a Virgin Mary. Later on, she discovered that it is a sign that she is closely living with God.

  
      The theme of the story is about searching one’s true self and opening to the energies of the world. One of the questions central in the story is "How do we find the courage to be true to ourselves- even if we are unsure of whom we are?”. In the story, Athena was described as a woman who will always be subject to envy, sadness, introversion and impulsive decision but  can’t be easily affected by negative vibrations. A woman who can be easily notice in the crowd. A woman who has a strong spirit. She goes into London University to pursue her dreams but then she decided to drop out, get married with Lukas Jessen-Petersen and have a baby. Two years later, her husband realized that he is not happy anymore and he is facing so many responsibilities because of being married at a very young age. So they get divorced and because of that, the church didn’t allow her to receive the sacrament of the body of Christ so she cursed everyone around her and the church for deviating stringent rules which has no connection in serving our God. She swears not to set her foot in church ever again. She grows into a woman in search of answers to many questions that arise within her and searches for the answer to the classical question of "Who am I?" through many experiences. On the apartment where she resides, she met a group of people who uses dance as a way of praising God. She joined the group and influenced many people with that dance, a journalist who fell in love with her, an actress who was her disciple and had a love- hate relationship with her, a doctor who was also her protector and teacher, a numerologist who did not know her personally, a manager of bank for which she initially worked as a clerk, a teacher of calligraphy, a gipsy restaurant owner who takes her to her real mother, her real mother, and a historian. They all witnessed how Athena performed miracles by changing their lives and perceptions. Athena once discovered music as one way of getting close to God but for her, it isn’t enough. So she find dancing as another way, whenever she dance, she always saw a light and that light is asking her to go further. She had influenced everyone to the point that she earned nicknames as “A witch” or a “Divine Manifestation”.

   
     The story also tackles  the belief  about the two faces of God. They believed that God has a feminine side and they call it the Great Mother. Through dancing, Athena was able to contact the Great Mother, and her name was transformed into Hagia Sofia when she’s in contact with the God. She became an intoxicating spiritual leader in London and her story was written in news papers believing that she is a cult and one of Satan’s members. The people wanted her to stop the teaching and imprisoned her and her child be send in an institution. To stop the gossip and protect their life of her child, she decided to hide in Oxford and let other people think that she is brutally murdered. She left the teaching but one of her disciples named Andrea, continued being the catalyst through spreading Athena’s influence.

    
    This great story does not only show how Athena found herself but also how she kept her faith with God despite of all the struggles that she had experience. It also tackles about fate, showing that the purpose of what we had experienced in the past will take place on the future which God prepared for us. Lastly, it gives us lessons about love. That we should not perceive love as a habit, commitment or a debt. It is not what romantic songs tell us it is - - Love simply is. It has no definition. We should love without asking too many questions.

The Lost Gem of the Ingénue

"Pain changes people, it can either build you or destroy you"

The Lost Gem of the Ingenue

I adore her so much. Her dazzling eyes that reflect a joyous feast, her rose-colored lips that cheerfully converse with everyone, her shiny hair that reveals her mesmerizing charisma, and a perfect smile that windows her enchanted life. I adore her because of her strong spirit and her power to walk to the labyrinth of happiness. That woman who can easily be noticed in the crowd and can be adored even by the same gender and who can blow air of positive vibes. That woman... That I adore... before. Then the light of her life turns into the red – it stopped.  Her enchanted life had ceased and the joy was only on the brink. She’s now standing in the temple of those melancholic thoughts. She was lost. She was no longer in the crowd but in the corner of the wall and no one adores her anymore. If only those steps of the day didn't come; that scenario that crashed her, that moment that breaks her life, that lunging sadness that transformed the woman I adored. I thought there’s nothing that can break her crown until someone flung her down. It happened that evening with promises of eternal love, her moans were occupying the four corners of the darkroom, that palm to palm moment that allows her to dream of that final walk and the final word she’d been rehearsing for the rest of her life. But after that romantic evening, nothing was left and no words were heard. She was alone and no vestige of her baronet was left, but only the ecstasy and agony and the sleepless nights. He took not only the plash of joy nor her vulnerable heart but also the precious gem she’d been keeping all along. The gem that cast her pride. The gem that she promised to devote to the man that will share a final walk with her. That gem is not comparable to any emerald and rubies. But she lost it and those memories buried her in a constant state of anxiety. Her eyes were no longer a reflection of joy and their corners were filled by the mist of cafard. Her lips were never red anymore but plain that makes her pale. Her hair was scattered that it covers her lovely face and the perfect smile disappeared. She was changed in just a blink of that deceiving night and her magnificent life became a battlefield. If only she could fight, but she’s powerless to efface that sickening instant. If only she could return that most precious thing of being a vestal. She was swallowing much morphine to ease the twinge inside her. If only I could grab her hands and show her the paradise that she used to live in before. If only I could show her the bridge of life where she can see the womenfolk laughing even without their gems, those women with the same scar at the corner of their hearts, those who unravel their lives. If only I could show her the man who can wholly accept her past and share his final “yes” with her. But I can’t help her. I can’t.  Because I can’t be the woman I was before.

Milestone

The sweetest part of my story

is when I, a young girl, turns into a lady;

No more ponytails but a crown

jeans and shirt turns into a gown

Every chuckle and meaningful laughs

reminds me of some kiddie stuff

forget not of days with playful bliss

and all my childhood memories

During my pre-school days

All nails painted with yellow

sneakers changed into stiletto

tiny ears with happy bunnies

shines now with fancy rubies

Symbolic gifts given by peers

special meanings shared with tears

young men waiting to dance

and give a rose if they had a chance

Dance for my 18 roses

Time had passed for nursing as a baby

'cause here's a world for maturity

to initiate morality

and live my life meaningfully.

To someone who broke my heart

To someone who broke my heart

We shared thousands of memories

Something that I really miss

Everything now would never exist

Even the hugs and innocent kiss

Break-up was never an option for us

Being loyal was an easy task

But everything still ends so fast

Cause this relationship wasn't meant to last

It's exhausting to ween our forever

But desiring to love again is even harder

Yes I don't want to feel bitter

Cause living this life is something better

Dreams that we wanted to finish

Has all gone and vanished

Love and joy, I want to remember

But everything was replaced by anger

Forgiving wasn't so easy

Cause in the process you left me

Breaking someone's heart is hard to see

But it can be healed by a sincere sorry

The mistake wasn't only on your part

Cause I know I can't fulfill your heart

Though it's hard for us to be apart

We opt to go back from the start

Thank you for being a part of me

For all my mistakes, I’m really sorry

Reaching your dreams will make me happy

And I hope you'll find your next honey!

A vacation for "PLAIN NAILS"

Girls! We love our nails so much because it gives us elegant and feminine look but sometimes our  nails becomes too much stress that makes it weird-looking . Our nails are the reflection of ourselves  it can be kept short or long or put a nail art with for a more girly fashion but a weird one will not reflect the beauty that we have. Here are some tips on how to make our fingernails look fabulous:

• Remove old nail polish and make sure your nails are clean and well shaped, long nails are better for various design. 
•  Apply a base coat to protect your nails from any damage by using different nail polish.
•          For our first nail art, choose two complementary colors for 1st and 2nd coat. You could also use glitter nail polish for your 2nd coat.
•          Start by applying your base color. Allow it to dry.

from Pinterest.com

•          You can buy a sponge stamp or you can get any used sponge at your home (throw your sponge after using for nail art).
•          For your second coat, apply well the nail polish into the sponge.
•          Stamp and push into your nail carefully until it covers the whole nail.
•          Finish it with a clear top coat.

   For our next design, we’re going to do easy and cheap Matte design for nail art.

•         Remove old nail polish and apply a base coat. Allow it to dry
•          Apply your favorite base color.
•          Get a baby powder and dip your brush into it.
•          Apply the powder all over your nail while it’s wet.
•          When your nail polish is already dry, wipe all the excess powder and you’re done!  

from www.79ideas.org.com

from beautyandthefeast.blog.com

So what are you waiting for? Create your nail art with these quick easy steps. As the sayings goes “NAIL ART is one way of adding beautiful colors to your life”. Enjoy and add colors to your plain nails J